Peter the Orchid is Beeee-ute! iful...

So despite the flashback inducing blog of one, Hayley G Hoover, I am determined to not make this an emo blog posting.

I gathered another following ::waves at Nina!:: Hello!!

And I'm happy to report it's raining buckets. Good ol' rainy season (usually Florida summers) has decided to visit early this year, just one of the many freaky weird weather patterns our planet has developed on these, it's final years of human life. Ah and here we are at another emo topic; the end of the world.

"I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy..."

On that note, I did see a humorous Tina Fey movie over the weekend. Wifey and I caught Date Night and had a date night of our own. Promptly after purchasing paint for our Furniture: The Redux, and an orchid which we named Peter (hopefully he'll live longer than our last one...), we went to an awesome local burger joint that will make any of their 50 burgers with a veggie patty! Ah delicious buffalo sauce and blue cheese burger :) YUM! the GF had the portobello burger which was also tastey! Basalmic vinegarette FTW. We proceeded to a mini shopping spree and Publix followed by the movie. I laughed a lot harder than I thought I was going to. Pretty much went in expecting all the funny parts to have been on the previews, but I was pleasently surprised! So go see it already!?!

Upcoming movie I wanna see: Oceans.

Oh, and I'm bringing back the DOFP...

Daily Office Faux Pas: Old man I work with coming up behind me..."Did you miss me this weekend? Did you think about me?" Ewwwwwww you sicko! Hellz no I didn't...ok well I did...cause I was going through my things because we're downsizing and I was thinking I should give you the 2000 piece puzzle I have...so yes, are you happy?!?! ::Creeped out::

I know I said I wasn't going to get emo on you, but ::sadness: I sold my Xbox and my NES over the weekend...way underpriced...::sadness::

And to take you on this roller coaster a little further...What did the snowman say to the other snowman?



Does it smell like carrots out here?

Sister Twins Flashback!

Sooooo I kind of sort of totally missed the boat on BEDA (Blog EveryDay in April) since yesterday was Aprrrrril (you have to trilllll the prrrrr) first and as you can see, I did not blog. :ashamed: But as with most failures in my life, I have well thought out reasons or what some people (my girlfriend) consdier excuses. First of all, I missed yesterday...can't go back in time, auto-fail from the beginning. Secondly, I rarely if ever get on the computer on the weekends and that would be epic failure on two out of every seven days. Thirdly, I have come to the realization that I am not creative or funny enough to write an entertaining blog. 2D just doesn't do me justice...and 3D (aka VEDA) isn't going to happen. Fourthly (and I'll try to wrap this up) I have but one mere follower ::waves to Susie:: You're awesome!! Sorry you have to read this...

So in speaking with my seester (aka Poopsilon...that story will have to wait for another day), I was reminded of how close we are now and use to be growing up. This morning on my way to work I changed gears from the usual mellow boy-wine piano rock of MAE and the Counting Crows to the awesome-ness that is Aly & AJ. Heard of them? You better, they are awesome! A sister duo that plays the guitar and sings all these fun pop songs. I have all of their CDs...cause I'm a dork. They've had a few made for TV movies and Aly was a star of Phil of the Future on the Disney Channel. Anyway, I love them.

Now back to my sister. Growing up in the military means growing up very closely with your family. Luckily my sister and I were less than 3 years apart in age which is close enough to be friends and have common interests, yet far enough apart to not be up each other's butt. Growing up in Europe lended itself well to extremely long car rides and travel. To entertain ourselves, we often played with our trolls, LEGOS and stuffed animals. Our characters would sing, fight, love and sometimes their legs would fall off. Good times were had by all, especially when we got a hold of our dad's voice recorder. Needless to say, many jokes and stories were recorded over the years, including our debut hit "Down Down Baby*," which at the age of 10 didn't have the same conotations.

With that being said, my sister and I dreamed of a day when we could take our hit platinum and be The Sister Twins! (that was the brilliant name we came up with) And that leaves me where I was this morning...sitting in my car, jamming out to who my sister and I consider to be "sister twins realized," Aly & AJ. Could've been us....could've been us...

Daily Office Faux Pas: Whoever was passing gas by my desk!! I'm sure people thought it was me...thanks! Also nosey people that later admitted to reading the card that came with the flowers from the 'rents. My flowers, my card biotches!! Mind your own!

*our version of the lyrics-

Down, down baby,
Down by the rollarcoaster.
Sweet, sweet baby,
I'll never let you go.

Gimmie gimmie
Coco puffs
Gimmie gimmie
Some

Gimmie gimmie
Coco puffs
Gimmie gimmie
Yeah!

Guyliner Inspired!

Waiting to get the pictures off of my camera before doing a post about the weekend trip to Key West....in the meantime, here is a LOST parody I wrote about Richard Alpert....to the tune of "Live Like You Were Dyin'" by Tim McGraw.

He said: "It was in the eighteen-sixties,
"With a lot of life before me,
"An' a moment came that stopped me on a dime.
"I spent most of the next days,
"Looking at her sick face,
"An' talking 'bout the options an' talkin’ ‘bout sweet time.
"I asked him when it sank in,
That this might really be the real end?
How’s it hit you when you get that kind of news?
Man whatcha do?

An' he said: "I went horse riding, I went drunken doctor finding,
"I went looking for the medicine that would hopefully help her live.
"And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,
"And I asked for forgiveness I'd been denied.
"An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like she were dyin'."

He said "I was finally arrested,
"Pleading for forgiveness.
"An' I became a prisoner destin’ to hang.
"And all of a sudden speakin’ English,
"Was a ticket to freedom,
"And I went onto the Black Rock in chains.
"Thank God I read the Good Book,
"And I took a good long hard look,
"At what I'd do if I could do it all again,
"And then:

"I went wave riding, I went scary statue colliding,
"I went several days a hiding from a monster made of smoke.
"And I dug deeper and I tugged harder,
"And I gave in to the man I’d been in hiding (from).
"An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you were dyin'.

" Like tomorrow was a gift,
And you got eternity,
To think about what you’d do with it.
An' what did I do with it?
An' what can I do with it?
An' what would I do with it?

"Guy-liner, I went John Locke recruiting,
"I went on and off the island whenever I wanted to.
"And then I lied deeper and I smiled sweeter,
"And I watched Flight 815 as it was flyin'."
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,
"To live like you weren’t dyin'."
"To live like you weren’t dyin'."
"To live like you weren’t dyin'."

Sooooo I wasn't sure what to write about today...low and behold the news! I found an interesting article about a new transportation system being developed by GM called EN-V and I just couldn't help myself. Future travel and the modes in which we will travel have always fascinated me. I think this love may be one of the reasons I loved Disney World so much as a child. Walt Disney was obsessed with trains and movement. It inspired the multi-modal transportation utilized in all of the Disney parks. As a child growing up in the suburbs of DC, I loved the days my mom would take us on Metro. The distinct smell, the warm breeze and of course the flashing lights to alert you of the oncoming car, all bring back so many memories. But this new development is a variation on something I've thought about many many times before.

Check it out!

The Future!!

Ok ok so let me start off by telling you, that two people are suppose to fit in this thing! And I thought the Smart Car was cramped!! Anywho, this thing comes with sensors that keep it from crashing into things as well as a traffic responding GPS that will navigate the fastest route, real time. The most awesome of awesome...it does all this, ON ITS OWN! Yep that's right, you don't drive it as much as it drives you. The city of course has to invest in the whole network and there is someway it connects to the roadway, but how awesome!? The kicker, it only goes about 25 miles an hour and is only to be used in a 25 mile radius, so it's pretty much a sitting segway with autopilot, but still soooo cool. We'll all look like this:

Well I won't look nearly as uptight and dorky as these people, but still....cool!! The strange thing is, my girlfriend and I got in this discussion a week or so ago. She said they should develop a massive train network in which people ride in individual cars at high rates of speed. The train car would operate on a similar autopilot and would change tracks as need to get the passenger to their destination. I argued that this would be impossible. For one thing, America abandoned the passenger rail long ago. Trains in America are just not a main form of transportation (excluding light rail and metro rail). Second, the cost of building all of the infrastructure (i.e. track) is unimaginable. However, if they were to go this route, it would create a ton of jobs and give the laid off construction worker industry a very large new project. Third reason why this is unfeasible is that high rates of speed and train track changing just sounds like a collision waiting to happen.

I think GM might be onto something here with the EN-V and the whole 25 miles an hour thing. Sign me up!!

In other news, I was lazy last night and did not Wii Active. Instead I cleaned and packed and watched Grey's Anatomy (Arizona don't you mess this up!).

In other other news, I'm sooooo excited to go to Key West this weekend, but not excited to sleep in the car lol

Daily Office Faux Pas: Old men asking personal questions (i.e. "You spent six-years at Virginia Tech and never snagged yourself a husband?") as well as asking when I was going to get them a cup of coffee. Uh, last time I checked that was none of your freaking business and I'm not your secretary! I need my own office space, or at least to be away from the prying eyes and prying questions of my current work co-habs...save me!

Yak-e-dee Yak Don't Talk Back

Spent the evening enjoying the beautiful Florida weather! Nothing beats laying in the grass, eating chips and salsa, sipping a cold beer and watching the bunnies play (yes I have two bunny rabbits...Rex and Milo). Enjoyed relaxing with the wifey. Hopefully we'll get to do some more in Key West this weekend. That's right, after 8 months of separation, we are finally reuniting with Never Never Land. Should be a fun weekend getaway seeing old friends and catching some rays at the beach :)

In other news, I am still sore from that Wii Active session. Hoping to do it again tonight.

In other other news, after discussing my previous blog topics with people IRL, I decided I will limit my work rants to a new segment entitled "Daily Office Faux Pas." I'm sure it won't be hard to catch one every day, but I am giving myself creative freedom to make one up if I don't actually witness it. It'll be up to you to figure out when they really happened or not. :P

Sorry for the short update...I'm sure something else of substance will pop up in the next few hours.


Daily Office Faux Pas- Discussing the fungus on your toe that may or may not be a wart with not just your doctor (personal phone call), but also your husband (personal phone call) and a colleague (get to work and stop yakking).

This place better shine like the top of the Chrysler Building!

I may be new to the professional world, thanks in part to the snooze button of life that is graduate school, however I have been shocked to find the status of things. It is not a shock to me however why we are 1) in a severe economic depression or 2) environmentally backwards. I have been fortunate enough to have a very environmentally minded family that believes in (and practices) a very strong work ethic. I have also been fortunate enough to live all over the county and across the pond (Army Brat FTW!). All things considered, I've lived a very comfortable life with an ample supply of diversity and culture. I also was able to spend 6 wonderful years in a beautiful college town with progressive students despite the underpinnings of a strong republican regime (I mean hello, we have the Corps of Cadets). Furthermore, my first real delve into professionalism occur ed in the Never Never Land that is Key West, Fl.

So now that you have a few small snapshots of my life, maybe you can understand why I'm sitting here at my desk silently screaming and silently looking around, mouth open in bewilderment. I am at work, like wear a suit, wake up at 6:15 to take a shower, have my gf do my hair and makeup and drink shit tons of coffee, work. So, if you're at work, why are you writing a blog? Good question! I'm writing this blog, at work, because it's the least of "non-worky" things I've witness just this first hour today. If people can a) make personal phone calls to their laid off husband discussing whether or not the flan their daughter brought today was going to make it to 1pm Spanish class without being refrigerated, b) speak above a whisper to co-workers for 20+ minutes about their horse and their friend who works with the Queen of England's horses, and c) hang out in the kitchen "making coffee" when really it looks like they're trying to sleep standing up, then I don't know why I can't write a friggin blog about how mad I am about it!

Shut up and get to work! Work, remember work? That's what you get paid to do! No wonder we are in the worst economic depression ever, nothing is happening because no one is doing anything!!!! The funny (and by funny I of course mean most maddening) thing about it is that all of this is going on while businesses are spending bundles and bundles of money to have IT professionals block websites and restrict internet access. I would like to state for the record that the young people entering the workforce with vast amounts of computer knowledge are 350% more efficient and productive than the oldies who can barely Google something, let alone program. Yesterday a co-worker (alright I'll cut him slack because he is probably as old as my grandparents*) asked me to Google something for him. Googled and found the document in less than 30 seconds. Then found the specific section in the poorly formatted document in less than 3 minutes (<3).> character in Liar, Liar with the pen (this pen is rrrr-rrrr-rrroyaal bllluuueee), I cannot not recycle. So I fill my lunch bag with all my recyclables and at the end of the work day I take them home. Recycling is just the day-to-day office type interaction. Almost every car in the parking lot is a fuel-inefficient SUV, we have a pod coffeemaker (hello extra packaging much?) and there are lights in the office that stay on all day and night. And these are just the things I can think of to rant about right now while I can't even hear myself think (I need my own office or at least my own cubicle!)

In other, less ranty news, I finally did the Wii Active!! Woo hoo. It was a purdy gud workout too. For those who care (which is no one considering my following is zero), the lunges kicked my ass! Looking forward to working up a sweat tonight

In other other news, LOST was freakin' amazing last night!!!

*My grandparents may be getting up there, but they can still use a computer and seem to find the mental capacity to forward me a million of those musical e-mails.

Get into the groove....

The meeting last night left me lazy and unmotivated by the time I made it home. Great meeting, lazy me! I only caught the last hour or so of Dancing but it made enough of an impression to inspire a ChaChaWaltz teeth brushing session. Tonight, (after my chores...yes, I have chores...) I will finally be popping in the Wii Active and getting my workout on. I bought this game from Amazon months and months ago when it was a Gold Box deal. For months and months is has sat, collecting dust, on my TV stand. Tonight the dust will be cast aside, the giant rubberband-y thing will be securly fashioned to its hand holds and I will break a sweat. I have found that what people say about 25 is true. I am getting fat and the fat is shifting to places I don't really want it to ("hey body, I think I have enough booty in my pants, thank you!!"). So in a last ditch effort, because lets be honest I'm one lazy, procrastinatin' fool, I shall attempt some semblance of a workout regiment.

In other news, I have a very pissed off taste bud on the tip of my tongue.

It's like Google has ESPN or something...

Upon starting a new job there are certain personalizations one must do in order to make their new desk their own. For some, it is placing pictures of loved ones where they may be gazed at often, may they be spouses, children or furry companions. For others, it is organizing their desk drawers, paper clips go here and stapler there. For me, it is customizing the computer desktop so that it is both functional and enjoyable. No, I'm not talking about changing my wallpaper to a hot bikini model or a cute picture of me and my wifey, or even changing the icons and location of files. Those are things that will come with time. One of the first things I do during the traditionally boring and slow beginning of a new job is setting my favorites.

Of course there is a link to my bank, my multiple e-mail accounts and the local weather, but my real favorites are my blogs, most specifically, the blog of one HayleyGHoover.

The quest for finding this blog use to be one of some difficulty. A year or two ago (when I first discovered the FiveAwesomeGirls), googling HayleyGHoover would pull up a few links to her personal YouTube channel and possibly a reference to her popular Grammar Fairy skits. But with time her online presence grew. Today, with little effort on my part, I was autocompleted to HayleyGHoover in a mere seven letters. And this, in the boring and slow beginning of my job, is what launched me into a small survey of related autocompletes I have outlined below.

HayleyGHoover: Autocompleted name in seven letters.
Autocompletes: blog, twitter, boyfriend, dailybooth, youtube, nanowrimo

Mike Lombardo: Name must be fully typed.
Autocompletes: hbo, trio, century 21, football, inc, youtube, chicago, lyrics, real estate

italktosnakes: Autocompleted name in six letters.
Autocompletes: blog, twitter, meekakitty, deviantart, dailybooth, youtube, down with meekakitty, nerimon

Kristina Horner: Autocomplete name in nine letters.
Autocompletes: blog, formspring, and alex day, twitter, alex day, dailybooth, livejournal, wiki, all caps (which ironically enough is in all lowercase letters)

Liane Graham: Autocomplete name in seven letters.
Autocompletes: leanne graham, twitter, leanne graham nz

Lauren Fairweather: Autocompletes name in eight letters.
Autocompletes: .com, blog, chords, twitter

Owlssayhooot: Autocompletes name in five letters.
Autocompletes: blog, formspring, tumblr, twitter, flickr, dailybooth

FiveAwesomeGirls: Autocompletes name in six letters.
Autocompletes: wiki, youtube, lauren, liane

The following had no autocompletes: Kayley Hyde, DevilishlyPure, and Lianeandthemusic, as well as me, VTBurninator (but no surprise there!)

So what does this all mean, aside from the fact that I must be really bored and have too much time on my hands? Well it appears HayleyGHoover, Mike Lombardo, Lauren Fairweather and Owlssayhooot have established themselves independently in the autocomplete google niche of the internet world. Liane Graham appears to have the same or similar names as other people alive on the interwebs. Kristina Horner and her alias italktosnakes has establish a network wherein her autocompletes connect her to Meekakitty and Alex Day (alias nerimon). This network was actively created by Kristina through her popular internet dance and jumpcut battle with Mekakitty, as well as her extremely popular youtube song "Mrs. Nerimon" and fairly visible online relationship with Alex Day.

It is interesting to me that Google autocomplete has not connected the girls to one another, but aside from all posting on the same channel, they don't do a lot across their personal channels or blogs to be autocomplete worthy. I was surprised Hayley and Kristina weren't linked due to their occasional battles of rap and subscribers, but I suppose they aren't as popular as the Meekakitty battle. As for now, I will add blogs to my favorites and continue to watch as the fiveawesomegirls' online presence grows.

For those interested-

John Green: Autocompletes in seven letters.
Autocompletes: leaf whittier, quotes, leaf whittier poems, e realtor, looking for alaska, leaf whittier biography, twitter, leaf furniture, paper towns, leaf whittier quotes

John Greenleaf Whittier quote: "Tradition wears a snowy beard, romance is always young."

That you spent your change over...

Jump in your Range Rover
Turn up the AC
And then explain to the children
Why little ducklings they don't see
Or why those white bears from up north
Are dealing legalized cocaine
But aren't legally living free-range.
Your tailpipe is our future
And you treat us with disregard
Take your children to see the glaciers
So they can tell your grandkids all about it
They will require some imagination
An quite possibly ventilation
But at least they'll hear about it
And know where the guilt is to be laid.
Hide your children from me
Shunt them to the water
You can't tell it's set to boil
Just slowly getting warmer
You will burn our feet
And choke the air.
I walk into my house
Wipe the soot from my eyes
Clear a spot in the window
Watch you run out your door
Back to your pride and joy
Roving the cement range
While our children beg for organics
And less acid in the rain.
We all learned to share
But I'd prefer if you'd keep your bad air.
I'll stand here starring
At your dog's shit upon the pavement
Love the smell of methane
Frying on the sidewalk
No kids don't eat it
We'll eat shit soon enough
We love sunny days in November
And don't forget those white flakes
Out in the desert.

But for now we'll just agree
On all the same lies.

It's only been as long as my last oil change...

Ok ok, so my sister convinced me to start blogging again. Ask and ye shall receive.

I'm not quite sure what there is to blog about...life? Work? Love? News? Or just my random-ness (see previous blog posting)? How about I touch on a little of everything...

Life:

Wake up, take a shower, eat breakfast while watching Charmed, drive to work, work which consists of looking up phone numbers, cold calling and updating contact information, eat lunch, more work sometimes sprinkled with filing, printing checks and trips to the bank, drive home while talking to the Mothership, spending the evening with the wifey watching TV, eating dinner and talking forever about anything and everything. Life is good.

Work:

Despite how exciting I'm sure I made it sound above, I actually really enjoy work. My office is so laid back that afternoons are usually accompanied by ping-pong games and the office is full of dogs and babies. Recently a guy at my office created quite a stir when he thought he was sending an e-mail to his friend detailing the various women he is dating and his sexual exploits (including a bi-lingual threesome and a lady with one arm) when the actual receipent and one of our clients called in a rage demanding an apology to his entire company. Apparently the e-mail was forwarded to everyone. How was the purpotrator punished? I'm pretty sure he's on an all expense paid, company funded trip to Las Vegas...

Love:

All is going great in love for this quarter-century Libra. Andy and my one year anniversary is this Saturday. We haven't really made any plans, I guess we'll see how her schedule for work turns out. I haven't gotten her anything either...I'm sort of at a loss, but I'm sure I'll come up with something.

News:

Looks like we spent a bagillion dollars for nothing in our attack on the moon.

Random-ness:

Believe it or not, you can trip down the stairs and get rug burn on your entire shin...don't ask me how, but I did it and have the marks to prove it.

And for now, that is all...

Peace, love and boy scouts popcorn!

Settle a Sneezing Civilization

"Ahhhh Chuu"

A sneeze.

A common, unconcious reaction to something irritating your nose and or throat and or other parts of your insides I don't know the name of.

I just shot spit on my arm and into the air. Imagine what my germ-aphobe of an OCD cubemate would think of that!

::Praying the spit dust settles before he comes back:: "Setttle spit, settle" I whisper in the direction of my silence-breaking sneeze...well post-sneeze actually.

Speaking of settling...ever play Civilization? (Settling made me think of settler...I dunno...)

I was addicted! Freshman year of college my roommate, Sally (short for Sarah), and I use to stay up all night playing. Not playing each other. Playing our individual games on our individual computers, waving goodbye to our hallmates as they ventured out onto the frozen tundra in short skirts and tubetops covered up by sheer shawls.

"Don't mind us ladies. We're conquiring nations and developing technology. I'll keep my fingers crossed that you beat your all-time kegstand score!"

"Shhhhhh" Don't mention the sneeze. He's coming!! I don't want to hear a peep, least of all anything resembling "Bless you!"

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY??"

"Blast Sue?"

"Who the hell is Sue?"

"Good question!" ::runs and hides::

"Hide my spit while you're at it!"